The Three Bonds That Provoke The Grief Reaction
There are three states of being in regards to grief reaction that grief counselors and other psychological professionals have identified. They deal primarily with the state of bonding and the loss that correlates with that. Like all ideal states of happiness, things can be taken, threatened or never fulfilled. This is the state of man in the fallen and temporal world. True happiness can never be found in this world which forces people to seek the supernatural where in the next life, happiness is never lost, threatened or unfulfilled.
In regards to grief, the change that participates the loss creates grief within the heart of the person. When someone loses a loved one, the bond is broken or altered. This can be compared to death, broken relationships or divorce. In regards to death, this bond can later be re-altered into a new relationship. When this adjustment is accomplished, one then officially heals, although, the anxiety of separation always exists but at normal pre-loss levels.
Grief, however, can be felt if any existing bond is threatened. For instance, the mere thought of losing a loved one can cause an ache within the heart. Also, people who care for their terminally ill family, also experience the threat to an existing bond.
Finally, the unestablished bond creates an emptiness within the heart of man. The miscarriage, the unreciprocated love, or any dream that can never become a reality are found in this pains.
These are the painful losses people can experience due to bonding. It is quite ironic that what feeds the soul of man via social interaction is also eventually his greatest pain. This again only alludes to the reality that the temporal plane is not man’s highest aim for no true happiness can come in this valley tears, but every now and then, a bond is formed, and that bond gives us a glimpse of the eternal bond we will share in Heaven.
(Material for this blog was found in “Helping Grieving People-When Tears Are Not Enough” by J. Shep Jeffereys
Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C